***This post is the second part of a 2 part story. So, do yourself a favor and if you haven’t already, click here to read the first part to catch up and then come back. Hurry!
Okay, so where were we? Oh yes, I had just dramatically crawled out of a dirty canyon and desperately needed to be hooked up to life support. However, nobody would take me to the hospital and I couldn’t drive because my legs were so tired they could not move from the gas to the brake pedals so instead I just went to the office. OH!!! I didn’t tell you, did I???? The boot camp is sponsored by the company I work for. So yeah, all this happened with and in front of MY CO-WORKERS!!!!!!!
Calm down, calm down- that’s not the embarrassing part either.
Remember when I said I couldn’t sleep the night before because I was SO nervous about oversleeping? So I kept jerking awake all night? Well, that combined with the actual death-defying physical exertion back at the canyon left me deliriously exhausted. All day at work, my head bobbed and I struggled to stay awake.
A friend had invited me to a food and wine pairing that evening. As the end of the work day approached, I knew- I just knew I wouldn’t be able to stay awake for the event without some kind of rest. Did I have time to race home before the function and take a quick nap? I glanced at the clock: 5:02pm. Rush hour. By the time I sat in traffic, and got to my house, there would be no time for a nap. Rats.
I could put my head on my desk for a few minutes, maybe nobody would notice? But what if they DID notice? That would be awkward….
I called my partner in crime, frantic, “Amy!! I’m sosososososos tired. Like more tired than I’ve ever been. I’m supposed to go to this wine pairing tonight. I just can’t do it. I can’t go without a rest. How awful would it be if I took a nap out in my car? Just a quick catnap? Or even under my desk?”
“Yeah, do it!” she encouraged. “Everybody’s leaving, just turn the lights off…nobody will know.”
I was positive that Amy’s response was going to be that I was nuts and something along the lines of a “Who DOES that?” speech. But when she gave me her blessing, I thought no further. I glanced toward my gym bag. It was now filled with my workout clothes and the 2 towels from my shower earlier. Perfect! I fluffed the bag up like a pillow, set my alarm for a half hour and shut the lights off. Then, I crawled under my desk for a little afternoon snooze.
Little did I know that while I was stowed away under my desk dreaming, this happened:
“Hey, Amy….we’re looking for the birthday decorations, do you know what happened to them? It’s Cory’s birthday and we want to decorate her desk!”
“Oh yeah- Try Tracy’s office, she always has stuff like that hanging around.”
Um. TIME OUT. (Everyone freezes like when Zack used to do that in Saved By the Bell. Tell me you know what I’m talking about??)
During the time out, while everyone is motionless, I walk over to Amy and bitch slap her, reminding her that she can’t send the sweet new girl into my office because I’m SLEEPING. And Amy’s like, “Oh yeah duh.” And then the sweet new girl goes back to her desk and is none the wiser.
‘Cept that didn’t happen- you wanna know why? No, not because Zack Morris “Time Out’s” don’t exist- because I WAS ASLEEP UNDER MY DESK and I couldn’t call a time out!!!
New girl came into my office and was (rightfully!) taken aback by the image of a member of management curled under her desk in slumber.
She crept back to Amy’s office. “Uhh…Amy, she’s umm.. She’s sleeping.” She whispered.
“HAHAHA Oh my God– I forgot!!!” Amy laughed.
Then, like the traitor she is, instead of keeping it under wraps, Amy slowly let the sleeping cat out of the bag and nudged some of my other coworkers (some meaning anyone who hadn’t left for the day) to come take a peek at Sleeping Beauty.
Of course, this was all unbeknownst to me… because my alarm hadn’t gone off yet.
At some point, I must have sensed someone present because my eyes popped open wide to the sight of my co-worker Ryan standing at my desk stifling laughter.
This jig was up.
And that is the day that all my co-workers caught me sleeping under my desk a la George Costanza.
For the next several days, anyone walking by my office would stick their head in and casually ask, “Hey, I’m kinda tired you have any room under there?” “Hey, Tracy – is it naptime?” “Hi, George…”
Employee of the year right here. That’s what I’m sayin’. I don’t think this is what anyone meant by “Sleeping your way up the company ladder”…but if it was, I’d be at the top!
Photo Courtesy of Amy “And Amy….et tu, Brute???”
If you liked this post, you’ll love the book I’m in! Grab a copy of “I STILL Just Want to Pee Alone,” the follow up to the NYT Best-Seller!