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I Know What You Googled Last Summer

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Anyone who runs a website knows the importance of Google Analytics and stalking tracking traffic sources. One of the most interesting features on Google Analytics is being able to see what word searches are being used to find your website. Now, I know I talk about an array of random shit on my blog. And I know that I can pinpoint MOST of the key words searched to get to my blog. (Who knew the vagina diagram would be so popular??)

As an aspiring businesswoman, I’ve decided to break down the traffic sources and analyze these numbers. Please help me review the popular searches and then draw your eyes below to the search words I’ve highlighted in red and if you have any insight, any insight at all as to what the $%$#%$^&&%^#  is wrong with people, I’m gladly accepting any and all theories that bring any remote amount of logic or explanation to these searches.  Thank you in advance for your help, loyal Tracy On The Rocks Readers (You Freaks!!!)

 

Statistics

43: # of times Tracy was spelled wrong

41: # of times the search word VAGINA drove traffic to my page

8: # of times a search for body cast, difibulator or other medical reference drove traffic to my site (Should I add a disclaimer that my site does NOT provide accurate live saving methods??? This whole section makes me a little nervous, like I might need a lawyer…)

7 Fast N Loud Searches

5 Lord of the Flies related searches

5 Flintstones Related Searches

4 Farmers only dating website

3 “old doctor” searches

3 searches for “Tithing vs tipping”

2 searches for “drug deal”

2 searches related to food in the movie Goodfellas

 

analytics blog

 

Keyword Visits
        
(not   provided)  Real   helpful, Google… 139
tracey   on the rocks 40
vagina   diagram   29
diagram   of vagina   5
diagram   of a vagina   3
diagram   of the vagina   3
full   body cast   3
farmers   only   2
flintstones   tv   2
lord of   the flies pig   2
“aaron   kaufman” hacker   1
“broken   leg” “body   cast”   1
“how   i got fat” Just a   stab in the dark   here, but was it from eating bad food and not   exercising? Hope you found what you were looking for on the world wide   web there, Tiger… 1
aaron   kaufman   1
aaron   kaufman red sunglasses   1
body   cast   1
cardiac   defibrillator   1
defibrillator   1
does god   hate single people I have no   substantiating   evidence pointing otherwise… 1
drug   deal   2
farmers   online.com   1
farmers   only dating   1
fast n   loud sunglasses   1
flintstones   rock television   1
food   from goodfellas   1
fred   flintsone tv   1
gas   monkey garage female hottie   1
gas   monkey garage wallpaper   1
god hates   women Especially   single ones… 1
grease   monkey guy beard   1
growing   pours леонардо ди   каприо I   completely agree….Huh? 1
harlem   shake what ya mama gave ya   1
henry   hill lasagna   1
hospital   bandages body   1
if you   are a single girl,   do you feel god hates you  ALRIGHT   ALREADY!! Yes, I do and now I have a complex. Jeeze. 1
inside   of police cars   1
little   girl scouts Only   interested in those little girl scouts…not the big ones…. 1
lord of   the flies pig on stake   2
iproof   that god hates females So much   proof. Even   Iproof. This is also proof that Apple has taken over the   world. People can’t   type regular words without accidentally typing “i”   in front of it… 1
my mom is   too snoopy I know   what you mean,   Sweetheart. 1
old   doctor   3
pap smear   and paper and   butt Yes, yes,   during a pap   smear you never want to forget your paper and your butt…?   WHAT?? 1
people   have fun go in   crazy tracy jeans People   generally do have   fun when they go to an event in my crazy jeans…it’s   the really out of control   dress pants you have to be careful around.    They have a mind of their own….  1
picture   of flintstones looking at a   rock tv   1
pig   lord of the flies   1
pig on   a stake lord of the flies   2
should i   bring cookies to   a police ride along YES!!   Have I taught you   NOTHING?! 1
tithing   and tipping   3
true   florence henderson   vagina photos Huh? As   opposed to the   “untrue” ones?? 1
ways to   say phoney   baloney There’s   more than one   way? 1

 

 

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11 Responses to I Know What You Googled Last Summer

  1. Florence Henderson says:

    I guess there is no topic beyond your blog’s scope.

  2. Rhymes w/ Punt says:

    I keep trying to remember if I used one of those key words/phrases to search for your blog…. It’s a giant possibility

    • Tracy says:

      I know you were the one to search “pap smear and butt and paper” just admit it so I can stop obsessing over who did it…

  3. Not A Bug says:

    Guess you never know how people will find you!!!

  4. Cuz says:

    so you’re going to start sending diagrams of your vagina to single farmers, right?

  5. Lisa says:

    Astounding…..LMAO

  6. Rachael says:

    I’m immediately embarrased that other websites know my crazy search terms that led me to them. This one had me laughing out loud!

    • Tracy says:

      haha! Don’t worry I don’t know WHO exactly searched for what but if Goggle ever gets that creepy, I’ll give you a courtesy head’s up…

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