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Good Will Apartment Hunting

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My roommate is getting married so it’s time for me to be a big girl and get my own place. So, looking for an apartment is fun, huh? In case you didn’t catch it, I was typing with my sarcastic font on. Everything I look at has most things I want. No places have everything I want, and all places are more than I want to pay. Needless to say, it’s been an exhausting past few weeks of searching.

An added element of delight is the vast array of morons who post rentals on the internet.

You might think that working with a property management company would be a smoother experience than working with an owner directly since they are professionals. If you were thinking that though, you’d be wrong.

Here is a recent email exchange I’ve had with a property management company:

From: Tracy

To: CL Poster

Subject: 4492 5th Street Listing

Sent: Monday around 9pm

Hi,

I am writing in response to your listing on CraigsList for the available unit on 35th Street. Please let me know when the property is available to view.

Thanks in advance,

Tracy

————————————————————————————————-

From: The CL poster

To: Tracy

Subject: 4492 5th Street Listing

Sent: Sometime in the middle of the night on Monday

You can see it at 1pm tomorrow.

————————————————————————————————-

From Tracy

To: CL poster

Subject: 4492 5th Street Listing

Sent: 7:30am

Good morning, thank you for your response. I’m sorry- to be clear, the unit is available to view at 4pm today, Tuesday May 19th or Wednesday May 20th at 4 pm?  I am unclear because of the time this was sent and want to make sure that we are on the same page!

Also, I work during the day, is 1 pm the only time I can view it or is there possibly a time later in the evening I can come see it or perhaps first thing in the morning?

Thanks,

Tracy

————————————————————————————————-

From: CL Numbskull

To: Tracy

Subject: 4492 5th Street Listing

Sent: 10am

I have. A few people meeting there. Hope to see you there or another time if I can’t find anyone. Thx

————————————————————————————————-

From: Tracy

To: The CL Idiot

Subject: 4492 5th Street Listing

Sent: 10:01am

Huh? I don’t even know what that means? So, was it Tuesday or Wednesday that you are showing the unit?

Do you even want to rent this joint?

Here’s the thing, you’re a property manager. Isn’t it your JOB to rent this place out? See, I have a job too. A job I have to be at during the day. A job I have, you know so I can pay rent at your crappy listing. So if you truly want to get people in who have a job and who can pay rent, you might want to do your job a little better and have some flexibility with showing appointments. I may be way off here, but aren’t you the least bit concerned about the people who can drop what they are doing in the middle of the day to come look at your apartment? Are you worried that they don’t have a job? If not, you should be.

Thanks for all of your help. I’ll pass on the property and go live in a van down by the river.

————————————————————————————————-

I haven’t gotten a response.

So now, instead of looking for apartments, I am about to go hand out 100 of these flyers to all the homeless people downtown.

 

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4 Responses to Good Will Apartment Hunting

  1. Gretchen Kellaway says:

    Hahaha! Do it!

    See you need to move back east
    . Same prices easier to find rentals. 😉 You will find the right rental eventually. .I hope!

  2. Good luck house hunting SUCKS.

  3. Not A Bug says:

    Good Luck, Trace. The right place will come up!!

  4. Raj says:

    I have an apartment to rent for you. It is available to look at during the hours of the day that I am there. I hope you can make it. The place is a beautiful 1/2 bedroom public urinal combo with views of the turkey jerky meat packing house. Parking is available every third Wednesdays from the hours of 6 AM to 6:30 AM. We just sprayed for roaches but we can’t be responsible if they crawl back in threw the holes in the base boards made by the rats. It’s a lovely space that I’m sure you will love and want to raise children here. We pride ourselves on the sweet paint flavored walls. It’s a hit with the kids.

    Please leave your number on a piece of paper and tuck it behind the pay phone across the street. One of my drug mules will call you back using an unidentifiable number. Please answer immediately. We look forward to meeting you. PS: The neighbors pitbull should be no problem. We just pepper sprayed her again. It should work this time.

    Big Hugs,
    Raj

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