The other day, I was engrossed in Caitlin Moran’s book, “How to Be a Woman,” which Vanity Fair calls “the U.K. version of Tina Fey’s Bossypants.” So far, I’ve found her writing to be bold and irreverent. I had just finished reading the chapter where Moran talks about reclaiming the word “feminism.” She didn’t do it in a bra-burning bitch way, and reminds us that being a feminist isn’t a bad thing! I was feeling mighty womanly and powerful after that chapter as I put my book down to refill my wine glass.
Just then, the mirror that has been sitting on the floor of my bedroom since I moved in six months ago caught my eye. I’ve been waiting to bring in the handyman to hang that and take care of a bunch of other things I need handled around the house.
With my newly charged womanly can-do attitude (and armed with the guidance and bravery from the contents of my wine glass), I pronounced (to no one in particular), “I don’t need a handyman to hang this mirror! I want this mirror hung and hung shall this mirror be! I am perfectly capable of hanging this damn mirror!!”
And so I set about getting out my very capable and womanly toolkit with which I would hang my mirror.
I will tell you this: being a feminist ain’t easy and either is figuring out how to use tools. I’ve made a short list of things I learned from this experience that I will share with you below.
1. An electric screwdriver is not the same thing as an electric drill
*Yes, even if you take a screwdriver bit and try to use it to make a hole, it’s still not the same thing as a drill. Trust me.
2. You need to charge an electric screwdriver before it will work. I don’t know if you need to power an electric drill first, because turns out I don’t have an electric drill, only an electric screwdriver…but I would assume the same logic applies
3. These are not nipple clamps. I don’t know what they are for but I can assure you they do not bring pleasure to the nipple region.
4. If you don’t have a drill to make a hole for the wall anchors, you could give up on the wall anchors and just simply bash a hole in the wall using a hammer and a screw instead.
*Method not recommended
5. When engaging in #4, if you hung a very heavy mirror over your bed, make sure you are not sleeping in said bed during an earthquake so your head doesn’t get bashed in when the mirror falls on you.
And that, friends, is how you get.it.done. I am woman, hear me roar!
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